Virtues of Bushido #4: Respect or Politeness - Why we need it
Seriously we need this one
“Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.” It has been said by Robert E. Howard, notably in his Tower of the Elephant story written nearly a hundred years ago.
The same applied to the Samurai/Bushi of Medieval Japan. They were fierce men, but like those of France of that era were notable for favouring politeness above all else and for being ‘barbarous’ in some ways.
Respect though is what the virtue truly is or ‘Rei’ and it involves respecting one’s opponent even in death, so that one should respect his corpse after one has slain him. Some such as Tokugawa with his desecrations of the likes of Ishida Mitsunari’s corpse fall well of the mark, same goes for Toyotomi Hideyoshi who dismembered and disrespected the corpses of his foes in the Imjin Wars.
But in a great many conflicts it is noteworthy how often the Samurai paid attention to this particular virtue. In the Heian-jidai they were respectful to the corpses of those who fought on the side of Sutoku, and then later in the Kenmei conflicts of the 14th century some such as Kusunoki Masashige were notable for their respect towards otehrs and courteousness.
Yet it must be admitted that few Samurai were of the quality of Kusunoki as a person or Musashi in terms of Honour, so did not always show respect towards others in the manner as prescribed in most writings about the Code of Bushido (never fear once these essays are finished, a series will begin on Hagakure so I will be examining this topic in greater depth never fear).
Some such as Ashikaga Tadayoshi could not bring themselves to show due respect to others, yet still managed to climb high. Yet his brother treacherous as he was, could still prove fairly polite and resourceful at court knowing when to use tact and when to forego it, unlike most of the eastern Bushi of his generation.
The ideal of Respect though is particularly alive to-day as the Japanese are among the most respectful towards others in the world. None are more polite, tolerant and patient towards outsiders than them. In my travels they never failed to be utterly kind and honourable towards me, and when they saw how uncomfortable and shy I could be in crowds or with asking for help at times, they were prompt to offer it or to help set my mind at ease.
I never truly felt ill at ease for long in a great many of their company, such was the innate goodness that they had.
It is part of their nature, so that when one sees videos of the masterful manner in which young Japanese men drag Kurds by their undergarments or Indians in such a manner to throw them before the police one has to wonder; ‘how did you so offend the Japanese?’ such is their politeness, their respectfulness.
They are courtesy personified. They are courteous to women, elders and children of all sorts and always tolerant and patient but they are not safe and not weak. They embody this virtue. So it must have been in the days of their ancestors.
To embody this virtue is difficult as it means walking a thin line; be polite to all around you all while being patient with others (not easy), and being even more than that; kindly. All while standing up for yourself, and being respectful towards yourself and firm in all decisions and good to oneself as one would be to others.
Not easy, if one was to remark upon cultures which have embodied this trait in the Occident, one would be forced to think of Ancient Rome, where due honours and respect was always paid to one’s enemies or at least it typically was. One must remember that Scipio Africanus showed immense respect to his foes, this in spite of their own surly behaviour at times, same goes for his brother Lucius.
One could also comment upon the respectfulness of Caesar towards his foes, how he did not ill-use them, did not damage their property and was even quite respectful of their personal wishes at times.
There was also St-Louis who was noted for respecting and being polite even towards those he disdained most such as the Muslims of Egypt, and had a horror of being rude towards them even when he didn’t like them. Quite the rare trait.
Or there was the Greeks from the ‘Byzantine’ period who were quite patient and tolerant towards the Francs and Germans and Normans who invaded their lands so to speak to get to the Middle-East during the First Crusades. Rudeness doesn’t come close to describing their boorishness towards the Emperor of Constantinople, and yet patient Alexios I remained and politely he transported them without EVER showing the slightest hint of discourtesy or rudeness. An amazing accomplishment under any circumstances.
One could also remark about the boorish behaviour of Dong Zhuo in the Ancient Han period and how it brought about his undoing, and why he has not gathered many fans since that time. The Chinese appreciate politeness and respectfulness, so that it is often best to deal with them in that manner, and if you do you’ll have their respect.
So it is the way with most people, respect breeds respect. Goodness breeds goodness, and so it must always be. Those who break from this rule do not merit it. Certainly some such as the Greeks in the Iliad are bent on respect such as when Hektor begs for honourable treatment in death is denied it, yet when Achilles dies he is afforded respect. Why? This is simply the Greek way; respect no matter what. They are akin to the Japanese in that regard.
However, as said sometimes a little discourtesy is in order if the other person is too disrespectful such as with the Spanish, who do not tolerate rudeness lightly and will fly into rages when others ill-use them. Same with the Italians. Let us not speak of how the Irish and Scots will burn people alive for petty insults historically.
DId this behaviour make them evil? No, not necessarily it made them human. They resorted to violence because others often did so to them. Rudeness is something that most don’t like.
Politeness and respect is a must in any human interaction, and is necessary especially in the building of families, societies and any kind of bond or relationship. Because in the Japanese view from respect flows friendship. And friendship as any who have seen anime and read Japanese literature, is the key component which men and women should all strive towards. Because once a friendship is struck, you are no longer alone and those without friends are truly alone.
And if you are alone, you are truly in a way lost, and the most pitiful man or woman in the world.
Speaking of RESPECT, it is interesting to notice that no matter how bad Joan of Arc wanted her country to gain independence from the English she never displayed utter disrespect toward the latter. In fact, she always made sure she gave the English a fair chance to leave without immediately recurring to battle any way she could, and never uttered words of disrespect toward the English captains.
Like this essay better than the other one