I'm not sure if this is the first chapter you meant for me to read, but here goes anyway!
I'm probably not the right person to give an opinion on the piece - full confession: whilst being the most enormous Tolkien fan (just finished re-reading the LotR trilogy for the 28th time last summer), I never managed to read the whole way through The Silmarillion.
That said, I applaud your approach to a synthesis of world mythology. Quite a lot of ground to cover there, and you've made a valiant attempt, so far. By the way, I couldn't find any of the Roman pantheon mentioned here, but did enjoy your flavour of ancient Greek mythology.
One little thing you may need some help with (given as you said that English is not your first language) is where to place commas. I felt you were using them in places where the effect felt a little jerky.
There's great energy in your writing; I wish you all the best in your work.
I'm not sure if this is the first chapter you meant for me to read, but here goes anyway!
I'm probably not the right person to give an opinion on the piece - full confession: whilst being the most enormous Tolkien fan (just finished re-reading the LotR trilogy for the 28th time last summer), I never managed to read the whole way through The Silmarillion.
That said, I applaud your approach to a synthesis of world mythology. Quite a lot of ground to cover there, and you've made a valiant attempt, so far. By the way, I couldn't find any of the Roman pantheon mentioned here, but did enjoy your flavour of ancient Greek mythology.
One little thing you may need some help with (given as you said that English is not your first language) is where to place commas. I felt you were using them in places where the effect felt a little jerky.
There's great energy in your writing; I wish you all the best in your work.
There is Greek, Macaria is a Greek goddess haha.
The first chapter is at the top of the table of contents, not Book 12, sorry about that.
As to commas, I’ll work on that thanks that’s good advice I do appreciate it. Thanks for the compliments madame.
Macaria is at it again damn she really never does get enough does she?
Not really non, hahaha