Peter Pan's Most Heart-Felt Song Wendy's Lullaby - "Your Mother and Mine" By Dan
And it's important in Disney history
With May around the corner, we have mother’s day that is coming up, so what better to start the month (Or end April, but that’s besides the point.) with a song about mothers. In the 1953 animated movie “Peter Pan”, the primary theme is about growing up, and learning that as much as childhood is fun, and there might be a boy in many men that want to enjoy life, there must be a time to put that boy to bed, and man up.
However, Peter refuses to grow up, wanting to enjoy his impulses, flirting with not just Wendy, but with Tiger Lily and the mermaids, causing Wendy and Tinkerbell to get jealous, encouraging all the boys to play all over the islands, be it exploring, fighting pirates, and so on, even when he is extremely focused on Wendy. He enjoys playing games, and doesn’t take anything seriously. Bringing the Darlings to Neverland was something done on a whim, enjoying the attention of the stories told about him.
Wendy starts off as a young woman, with her head in the clouds, dreaming about Peter Pan, and telling stories to her younger brothers, and behaving as a third parental unit towards her younger brothers, despite also being treated like a child by her parents, particularly her father. Their parents play a minor role, but it is significant. George Darling is her father, and Mary Darling her mother, and they both have rather different views on growing up. George would prefer the kids remain grounded, and focus on things like education and facts, he is harsh with his children, and simply humoured his wife and kids about their imagination, and he went a bit too hard on his children, and even the dog. Mary encourages the storytelling, and the creative outlets of her children, and loves the storytelling, and tries to convince George that there is value in childlike innocence.
Although George is rather harsh and crosses a line with the poor dog, he does bring up facts, and with the way Peter Pan behaves in the movie, it’s hard to argue against George’s logic. And Mary may be encouraging the creative storytelling and dreaming, Peter does take it too far. But she does bring about a very important point to her husband. She keeps telling him he lost something, by focusing solely on growing up and being an adult. She wants the kids to be able to have a creative outlet, and to enjoy their imagination. There’s a place for both.
In Neverland, neither of these are present in a responsible sense. Peter is focused on being a boy, and Hook is jealous of that, and wishes to take that away, especially when Peter sometimes takes things too far. And the creativity that Mary wishes to impart on her children is not really the same kind of creativity as Peter, as his version is a bit more toxic. He encourages the Lost Boys to get so caught up in their imaginary play, that they don’t consider consequences, and they do whatever they want, forgetting what is important.
Being a kid was fun, but eventually, you’ve got to grow up. And the Lost Boys, with their interactions with Wendy, show that they do want to leave Neverland, but Peter tries to convince them to stay, especially when John and Micheal wish to return, as they have become homesick. This is when Wendy sings her lullaby to the boys, officially known as “Your Mother and Mine”, which is heard by everyone, reminding them of what a mother’s role is.
The scene starts after an argument with Peter, which he ends up stomping off and pouting, with Wendy talking about what a mother is, answering the Lost Boys’ questions about what a mother is. It is notable that the spoken part starts with “Well a mother, a real mother…” which tells us that the creators understand that a mother can be a wonderful person, or a toxic leech. In a previous essay, I mentioned that men are there to protect a culture, and women are there to nurture the nation, or something akin to that, and this is something that is noted here, with how Wendy behaves like a mother to all the boys present.
The young woman tells them about a mother’s role in the lives of children, and what it means to be sung to sleep, she wipes Micheal’s cheek from the makeup of the Indians, when he expects a kiss after she mentions it. This is when she starts into the song, with John and the lost boys removing their face paint, eager to listen to her song. This is something new to them, as they never really heard a mother sing them to sleep, bringing peace to the boys, and cooling down their energy. The boys have a simple heart in here, and Wendy fills it. She was brought in on a whim for Peter, but now, she sees her role as far more different from what Peter imagined it to be.
We then see the pirates sneak up on the home of the Lost Boys, which is symbolic, as the caring mother that Wendy sings about, is there to bring peace, and to show them that they are safe in the house, only for the dreadful pirates, out of the dark to come swirling around, having ill intent, wishing to kill Peter. They are the demons of the world that would wish ill upon the children, and she is there to bring safety to the home. This is when Wendy sings about mothers guiding and helping the boys along, regardless if they are right or wrong, which we see how Wendy feels about her mother, and what kind of woman she’d like to be.
When we cut back to her, she’s seen brushing Micheal’s hair, which he brushes back, then leans in for a moment. The boys are captivated, with John throwing away the feather in his hat, and Peter breaking the arrow, when she comes around to the part about what makes a mother, then he gets up and looks through the door curtains to see how the boys are falling asleep, enraptured by her song.
The pirates listening in from above, are also caught up in the song, (Safe Hook of course. He’s just waiting for the opportune moment.) as they’ve been caught up in the endless battle with Peter and the Lost Boys, that they’ve lost track of their mothers, with Shmee revealing he has a tattoo of a heart with “mother” on it, breaking down in tears, then being shushed by Hook. Peter may be fascinated, but the only ones that aren't as receptive to the song would be Peter himself, and Hook.
Peter is so focused on himself, that he is upset with Wendy insisting that he needs to take responsibility as the leader, and refuses to grow up, so he is denying a part of himself, and Hook has been so caught up in his obsession with Peter Pan, that he has lost himself so completely, that he is just as much a part of Neverland as Peter is. The pirates being upset also show that they are just as tired of Neverland deep down, and wish to go back home, only being held back by the Captain, and being extremely homesick themselves.
The song closes with Wendy finally tucking Michael into bed, with her comparing a mother to “Heaven on Earth”, and another word for Divine, as the boys all fall asleep, going to bed, after listening to the beautiful song.
The boys want to grow up deep down, and the Darlings know that. It is why in the end, I agree with both George and Mary when it comes to their position on the kids. George is right in that the kids need to learn to grow up, and they can’t keep their heads in the clouds. They need to be grounded. But Mary’s also right, that if they stay too grounded in facts, then they will lose something important, which is a part of their creative spirit. There’s a part of that with us writers. It’s fine for us to go to work, and tend to our adult responsibilities, but when we get home and write, we wish to embrace the creative side that loves storytelling.
Even J.R.R. Tolkien had a part of this within him. Christopher Tolkien has stated that many times when he had a hard time sleeping, he’d just go into his father’s study, to just observe his father writing until he fell asleep. Why do you think the Inklings liked hearing Christopher telling the stories his father wrote? Sure, they could have John tell them, but they much preferred Christopher telling the stories, because he was far better at them. Plus, there is a form of magic when a boy is talking about his creative side, and embracing his father’s creativity.
This is something Wendy learns through the story, as the romance of Peter Pan, the boy who never ages is someone she meets, and she realizes how immature he is, and she needs to grow up, herself, teaching him that he needs to grow up and learn that there is a time and place to go play and be selfish.
But there’s also a time and place to grow up and be an adult. And this song is about what a woman is all about, when she becomes a mother, and what she should be like. That’s what the opening to the song is saying, and that’s what the song is about, with Wendy’s tender care for the boys, and her brothers.
Not everything about this movie has aged well ("What Made The Red Man Red?" is a particular sore thumb), but Disney did manage to preserve what J.M. Barrie was getting at in the original play- you can't live on imagination alone, and those who do become as oblivious to the wider world as Peter is.
And, of course, they kept to the theatrical tradition of having the same actor play Mr. Darling and Captain Hook- in this case, it was the amazing Hans Conreid doing the voice work.