The Most Villainous of Songs Under the Sea: Poor Unfortunate Souls The Little Mermaid's Villain Song by Dan
They really are unfortunate
When it comes to Disney villains, I’ll admit that Ursula is up there. Definitely top 5. She’s not just an embodiment of the evil witch from the Fairy Tale, she is also an embodiment of the devil, making deals with innocent people and twisting them, then coming to collect their souls. A lot of French Canadian folk tales actually have that motif, with someone outsmarting the devil in the end. (Often, it’s actually the wife of the one who made the wish that defeats the devil.) And Ursula’s modus operandi is exactly that. Faustian deals, for souls. And she has something that she wants, and she will do anything to get it. And that’s power. Therefore, she lures Ariel over to her, in order to play a game to battle against Triton for his power.
And Little Mermaid set up a pattern, giving villains songs in order to establish who they are, and what they want. Scar has “Be Prepared”, Frollo has “Hellfire”, and Mother Gothel has “Mother Knows Best”. But Ursula started this, and we see what she wants, and how she intends to get it. So the song actually starts with a dialogue that almost seems like a monologue. She starts by trying to “reassure” Ariel that she is no longer evil, and uses her magic to help people. Then she continues the explanation into her song, “Poor Unfortunate Souls”.
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
These two lines show that Ursula doesn’t even hide the fact that she’s evil. It should have been a red flag. Then she comments on how the people aren’t wrong about her, and they called her a witch, which is actually pretty accurate. And in a way, this is also an example of getting shit past the radar. There’s another word that rhymes with witch, that she may have also been called. But shush. This is a kid’s movie.
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch (True? Yes.)
We see that Ursula turns away from the camera, and we see her large body and the body language she is showing, as she is telling her that she’s changed, which she hasn’t. Then, when she gets into the last part, Ursula gets into Ariel’s personal space, which shows that she holds no respect for Ariel. Red flag 2.
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
Here she reveals to Ariel how she’s going to do things, and she is, yet again telling the truth about her magic. Interesting how Ursula is using a lot of half-truths to convince Ariel to do what she wants.
And dear lady, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf
of the miserable, lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
And here we see her views on those who come to her. She tries to make herself seem generous and benevolent, but the way she talks about her victims, it is very condescending and arrogant. She has no respect for clients, as she sneers at them, and in a way, at Ariel.
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
The most well known lines in the song, and very emotive. Ursula shows false pity, which borders on contempt, all the while trying to convince Ariel to her side, and not to listen to the warnings of the cursed mermen and mermaids, as she wants Ariel to think that Ursula is the only one who could help her.
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them? Yes, indeed
Ursula now tells us a quick story and example of a past scenario that happened, how a pair felt self-conscious and wanted to love each other, so Ursula got rid of the insecurities, but because they couldn’t pay the price, then their souls were hers. Now she is outright gaslighting her victims.
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them? Yes, I do
This stanza is yet again part of the chorus, as Ursula continues to explain what happens, as they go to her for help for their personal matters, then they are cursed by Ursula, as she comes to collect.
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
And this concludes her explanation on how things go. Often, her contracts are twisted and one-sided in a way that benefits only Ursula, and whenever it looks like it might be broken, that’s when she sends in Flotsam and Jetsam. Then she punishes the individuals very harshly, as they become trophies in her yard.
Yes I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole, I've been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls
She is now outright mocking and gaslighting her victims, all the while trying to create an innocent image of herself to Ariel, as she makes it seem as if it’s fair, and the people didn’t consider what they signed up for, all the while the mocking pity comes out again, as she looms over her trophies, who try to go as small as they can, quivering in terror.
Now we have the portion of discussion cutting midway through the song, as Ursula lays out the terms of the contract: Ariel becomes human and needs to convince Eric to kiss her a true love’s kiss in three days, or else she turns back into a mermaid again, and ends up becoming another one of her prisoners. The cost of the deal: Ariel’s voice. If she kisses Eric, she’ll get it back. In the meantime, it belongs to Ursula, something that she uses to get what she wants.As Ariel hesitates and remembers her family, Ursula gaslights her and continues tempting her, with false reassurance that Ariel could succeed.
You’ll have your looks, your pretty face
And don’t underestimate the importance of body language, ha!
This is a femcel giving romantic advice to a young, naive girl. She’s the last one who should give love advice. The way she moves is over the top, as she treats romance like a joke, and she has no respect for it.
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Ursula then shares a very skewed view of men and women on the surface, that might be applied under the sea as well. Ursula doesn’t understand love. She’s too ugly and evil to truly understand and feel what love is about. She claims that men don’t care when a woman talks and gives their opinions, or what their women have to say. Then she pretty much paints Ariel with a very stereotypical brush to her face.
Yes, on land it's much preferred
For ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Ursula really does show how little she knows about men, and how superficial she can be. It also says she wants her clients to remain silent on what she does, and it is a form of controlling those who come in, such as Ariel.
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can!
How progressive of Ursula, assuming that men aren’t intelligent creatures, who can’t hold a conversation, and don’t care about it.
But they dote and swoon and fawn
on a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man!
And we see that she has a misandric streak, as she thinks she knows what men like in women, and how they are empty-headed fools who just drool and obey like good dogs to a withdrawn, beautiful woman, treating them like they have no depth. On the other hand, her view of women isn’t all that different. She doesn’t care for women expressing their opinions. She is a strong, empowered woman after all.
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead! Make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much, just your voice!
Now, after breaking down Ariel’s resistance, and twisting love to confuse her, Ursula then uses another weapon as she would script it, as she’s done it a million times. She puts pressure of time on Ariel, trying to make her do a reckless and rushed decision, making it seem like Ariel is choosing for herself, when she’s actually being manipulated.
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll
This is when she presents the contract and the quill (Fish skeleton?) and pressures Ariel into signing it, reminding her that she’s going to need to take a deep breath, as humans can’t breathe under water, and rush her to sign the contract.
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
The boss is on a roll!
This poor unfortunate soul!
Ursula is now secretly cheering as she tells her minions that she’s succeeded, and self-congratulating herself on her work, and she tells us she knows how to read body language of her victims, and she sees Ariel’s body language, and knows what Ariel is going to do. Hades from “Hercules” comes across as a snake oil salesman in a humourous and entertaining way, but Ursula comes across as a witch selling snake oil, but it being some evil potion.
Beluga sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larynxes, glacydis, admax laryngitis, la voce to me!
This is the spell she sings, and there are some that sound like gibberish, words invented to make spells that rhyme, but here is what I can decipher from it. Beluga and Sevruga are aquatic creatures that are known for their caviar. The winds of the Caspian Sea is a bit more easier to read, as it stems from the inland lake South of Russia and North of Iran. The next line has more to do with the voice. The larynx which is the human voice box, Glacydis which is the inflammation of the tongue, and admax laryngitis has more to do with laryngitis which is the inflammation of the larynx, due to overuse, infection or irritation. La Voce is actually “the voice” in Spanish, and in the middle of that line she switches to English. She then has Ariel sing, as she takes her voice.
Ursula is one of the most devilishly charming villains from Disney that really isn’t interested in lying, as she sees it as a waste of time, although she will use it to twist the truth to her benefit. She is also one of the most twisted ones around, what with her jealousy and hunger for power.
Even in 89, feminists were still irritating people. Only now after reading the lyrics, I finally understand that the movie was trashing the rising third wave
Ah, that vile, gaslighting witch! Coincidentally, even one of the most evil villains of the Starshatter universe, the Taz'arans, would never seal a deal with a similar entity. They would rather die but keep their souls. In most cases, however, Taz'arans are equipped with powerful energy shields, particle-beam guns and other devices, which they'd gladly employ against the likes of Ursula. No, not to destroy, but rather to bind, to capture. What would they do with such entities you ask? Why, sell them to the highest bidder, of course! Scientists, their intent viler than Ursula's, would exploit said entity for generations, torturing it in order to advance the science of the immaterial...